From his overcrowded and famously filthy East Village apartment, England's most famous ex-pat wit is waiting to tell you how to be happy.
As he awaits the arrival of the mysterious Mr Brown and Mr Black, the 91-year-old Professor of Style expounds his own unique vision of the world. He gives us his personal recipe for self-fulfilment as he dissects life, the twentieth century and subjects as diverse as Princess Diana, Oprah Winfrey and oral sex.
'Never try to keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level - it's cheaper.'
Based on the life and writings of Quentin Crisp, Resident Alien was first staged at the Bush Theatre, London, where Crisp was played by Bette Bourne.